Who says I can’t run on candy, Red Bull, and will power alone?

~~~~



What are the beautiful people saying about
SpeakEasily?

"A real goddamn crazy place!" – Lucky Luciano
"Pure as the driven slush." -- Tallulah Bankhead
"Hello suckers. I think I smell fresh money tonight." -- Tex Guinan
"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left." --Oscar Levant

Forget Fridays… SpeakEasily wants you to flip your lid this Tuesday…and how! We've got Bombshells and poetry! Ukuleles and Canoes! 5,000 French men can't be wrong!!! (???)

August 3 –
TIPPY CANOE AND THE PADDLEMAN
A 1920's jazzcountrydoowoppop uke/upright bass duo!

AND

BOMBSHELL BETTY and her DEBUT-TAUNTS!
It's a burlesque attack!

AND

GEVER TULLY of Joe Schmoe fame reads some
poems on topics such as Love and Television!
One is reportedly about Odessa Lil! Has he lost
his mind?!

AND, of course, THE MILE HIGH METER DANCERS are all yours for a dance
and a dollar (make that a few dollars and we'll talk). These
floorflushers wanna use you to MOP IT UP!

For crying out loud, let's get hot!

http://www.oaklandmilehigh.com/

The Mile High Club
3629 Martin Luther King Jr. Way, Oakland CA
Doors and Meter Dancing at 8, Show starts at 9
$5
Info: speakeasily@gmail.com


Number One in the hood, G,
~Odessa Lil~

AND WHAT'S DOES THE FUTURE HOLD???

August 10-
PROJECT PIMENTO
There's only one Theremin lounge band, and that's
Project Pimento!

AND
Burlesque wonder THE INDRA's Theater of Blood
High Body Count Apache Dance, in which she will
ACTUALLY KILL Billy the Sailor. We've only got
one Billy the Sailor, so don't miss this.


August 17—
KITTEN ON THE KEYS and MISTER TINKLER
are THE FIRKEYTOODLERS
The Lollies
Roky Roulette, Male Burlesque Sinsation

For more upcoming dates, see
The MILE HIGH calendar

Congrats to THE FLAKES for winning “Best Garage Band” in The Guardian’s Best of the Bay Reader’s Poll!
But I have to admit that I don’t entirely agree with the pick for “Best Bar for Heterosexuals.”

First of all: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, everyone. What's the deal?! Was July mateing season back in the mid-70's?!

Tuesday night I'm making Oakland watch:
THE STUDENT OF PRAGUE (1913)
It's a great early silent involving a runaway mirror image. Total Doppleganger au go go stuff.
And just as in The Picture of Dorian Gray, the man can’t destroy his other self without destroying himself. There's always something.
Over the weekend, Salty and I were talking about our alternate universe selves (or BIZARRO selves), and both of our alternate selves involved the professions of real estate agenting and insurance adjusting. That and listening to Yanni. If I ever catch my reflection listening to Yanni...that's it! On the other hand, real estate is a fine profession.

A Bunch Of Stuff
 
First of all, check this out, yo...press for The Mile High Club! Hurray for Lisa!

Lisa, our leader. (photo by Smokey)

She's really a pioneer...like Louis Pasteur, but for beer and bands. (Hey, that's the only pioneering I care about...that and maybe condo moon-living.)
Our opening night for SpeakEasily was a success and we're just trying to figure out how to convince the general public of my perverted vision. "If you build it, they will come" Lisa recently wrote on a Friendster post...I agree, and I also have a voice telling me: "Have Dee Deeluxe dress up like a sexy monkey and fling poo to the tunes of a Dixieland band, and you'll start a cultural revolution." I feel like Mister Sophistication from The Killing of a Chinese Bookie when I proudly and somewhat ineptly present pros like The Indra.
The past three weeks have been a real adventure and I've been busier than I've ever been, so I did the only logical thing: split into two people. Odessa Lil is going to work and writing letters for the bank, and Wilberforce Kulinger is handling my personal life. Audra has retired, but I hear Mr. Kulinger has met someone very special and they can sometimes be seen in the Castro shopping for false mustaches together.

Odessa Lil, our bleeder. Also Sheah from Hot and Bothered. (Photo by Smokey)

AND...before you know it, another Tuesday comes around:

Everyone likes jug bands...
If anyone can name the fellow portrayed in this advertisement, I'll put you on the guest list (Count Fink is excluded from this offer, although he'd be on the guest list anyhow).



ALSO...
Coming soon: the full report from The Fresno Pool Party massacre, or alternately, Mammoth Orange Funhouse:





But now I must sleep.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.