The photos from the All About Fishnets burlesque show are up!

It was a nice show and I want to thank Greg, Daniel, Jose, and PunkRockDad for coming out to see it. I also especially want to thank PunkRockDad for winning all kinds of stuff in the neato raffle and then giving it to me. Much better than a dick in a box. Thank you Melissa for asking me to be part of the show too!

There was this awesome guy at the show who managed to yell out non sequiturs the entire time. He also kept me going while I was on stage by mimicking that he too was burlesquing. So keep that in mind, audience members: dancers really like that when you men shake yout stuff in agreement to their act. So anyway, at one point during the raffle someone yelled out "Next" So he starts yelling out "Stevie Next," which just hit my Rockstar+Vodka="StarF*cker the cocktail"-addled mind as the funniest thing I'd ever heard.
So here he is...I just want this guy to get his 5 minutes, you know?


This blog is turning epic...
I also want to thank my friend Matthew for saving and scanning a comic I drew when I was 19 years-old and then bringing it to my 30 year-old jaded attention. I've put the first two panels up on Flickr and it's generated lively discussion between my sister and I regarding the whole "why did you draw that dog like that" controversy. You know, really heavy stuff about artistic ownership and responsibility. ;P We love it.





AND finally (yes, I do stop talking at some point this evening) I wanna thank Paul for pointing out that a picture of me is in a new book about VJ artists because G-d knows I wouldn't have seen that book otherwise:

From -- VJ: Audio-Visual Art + VJ Culture

AND MOST finally,
Here are some Latkes:

We went to Kaleidoscope last week

Pictures from...

Why Chris and I are are geniuses...

It's been a week and I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I am no longer on vacation. Now I can make that your problem by dragging out the dreaded VACATION PHOTOS! But lo! These are no regular vacation photos. I think it is a fair assessment to say that this was one hell of a trip...after all, it was The Flakes first Japanese tour...and The Flakes are San Francisco's rockiest combo...

Here are just a few of the trip's highlights:

The first two shows The Flakes played were at a charming subterranean firetrap called the Shelter in the Tokyo neighborhood of Shimokitazawa. Although Amy, Michelle, and I were distracted by this district's extreme shopping possibilities, the shows proved to be more extreme.
Here is 22 seconds of what the show looked like. Peepin John tosses the giant skull.

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Jackie and the Cedrics played too!

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Here's what Shimokitazawa looks like. That McDonald's bathroom ended up being very meaningful over those two nights at the Shelter club.


The second show at the Shelter featured the 5,6,7,8s as well as superhuman jet-rock-n-roll machine Guitar Wolf. (Please, if you haven't seen the movie Wild Zero, rent it now. That's an order.)


The crowd went wild. Maybe a little too wild. The highlight here is that the bouncer, dressed as Pikachu as it was almost Halloween, kicked a guy in the head and knocked him out. No one got a picture of that, so this will have to do:


The third show was in Osaka at the Rockrider. Osaka reminded me a lot of Berkeley...x 1,000. Compaired to Tokyo, the crowd was younger, giddier, and some lost their pants. It was total Flakesmania.


But it wasn't all shows.
We also walked around a lot and saw shrines and temples!




Drank Sake!




And went shopping.


We had a few really nice guides too. Thanks to Ayako, Rockin' Jelly Bean, Jun, and Jackie and the Cedrics. Perhaps others too.



here's these guys...

Website Updates

My website renovation project has been moving along at the speed of snail, but I did manage to get the Film section of the site updated to include a Video Gallery. All hail YouTube.

Blog Synching...the past month...

Why Computers are Scary
So I saw this on someone's page and just HAD to freak myself out with it too.
Once broken down into lines and color pixels, I look like anyone with cheekbones, even men, according to the computer (I'M A COMPUTA...STOP ALL DA DOWNLOAD'N)
But the computer isn't the first to bring up Lucy. It will be the third time Lucy has come up in comparison, which I always find suspect. With humans...any "funny" female looks like Lucy, but the computer sees only cheekbones.






My Acting Resume

Audra Wolfmann ~ speakeasily@gmail.com ~ www.audrawolfmann.net

MUSIC VIDEOS

The Bippies music videos: "Monkey Around with Me" & "Where Do You Think You're Going", 2006. Director: Greg. As Go-go dancer.
Rolf & Funky music video, 2005. Director: Scott Pagano.
"We Don't Want It" music video, 2002. Love Kills Love. Director: David Westby. As Lead.
Lulu's Big Date, 2001.Collaboration with PureCinem Films and Tango No. 9. Director: Kat Eiswald. As Lead.

FILMS

Evil Eyes, 2004. The Asylum. Director: Mark Atkins. Staring: Udo Kier and Adam Baldwin. As Erika.
SF Indie Fest Trailer, 2004. Director: Mark Atkins.
SF Indie Fest Trailer, 2003. Director: Mark Atkins.
Berta, 2002. Director: Jose Montesinos. As Title Role.
"Transfusion," 2002. Director: Shane Donahue. As Lead.
The Breathing Show, 2000. Director: Steven Statler. As lead female role, Katherine.
"No Vacancy", 2001. Director: Max Baloian. As Lead.

TELEVISION

Basement Burlesque television pilot, 2006. Director: Chris France. As Odessa Lil.

Brett Puts Up With A Lot



http://www.flickr.com/photos/99806556@N00/259365281/


MOO
The free Moo cards came today!
These people love paper and I love them for it.

If you have a Flickr Pro account, they'll send you 10 free cards of your Flickr pictures. Being the cheap bastard that I am, I used it for business purposes (and I made one of Brett in a tri-corner hat).

Check 'em out: http://www.moo.com/




Kingfish and Eddie's Hubba Hubba Review
Pictures from Kingfish and Eddie's Hubba Hubba Review are up on the DNA site:

http://www.dnalounge.com/gallery/2006/09-16/

Hams.
What we are, I wouldn't eat.

Moleskin Freakout Crisis Averted

Yesterday there were several hours of panic caused by the thought that I had lost my Moleskin notebook. This notebook has become a sort of Linus blanket for me when it comes to creativity. I write nearly every momentarily-brilliant inanity and nonsensical reminder that enters my mind in this notebook and therefore, when Im trying to think of something new, I believe I need that thing in my hand as a talisman of creative thought.

I almost cancelled a writers meeting with Chris last night because I had these horrified images of someone on the N Train reading through such content as:

"He named his dog Hairshirt."

"If my family wasnt so full of mental illness and physical deformities, I might have ended up a real snob too."

"...feeling like a shrimp plate at a Bar Mitzvah."

If they made it that far, the notebook would definitely end up in the garbage. BUT luckily order was restored when I got home and found it under my bed. And I actually made it through the meeting with Chris without it. Although, Im sure that having the meeting at Impalas Taco Tuesday ($2 tacos, dude!) helped. Maybe from now on I need a $2 taco in my hand to be able to think creatively. This could get complicated.

Rough cuts from Basement Burlesque...
Odessa Lil and Sailor Billy



We don't know either:

How dumb is it having a MySpace blog and a Blogger blog? Wouldn't it be clever to post different content? Nah, that takes time and energy...I'll just repeat myself like all great artists and old people.

From Today:
Tomorrow Nite and Again in 2 Weeks...

THE FLAKES
August, 2 2006
The Makeout Room
3225 22nd Street, San Francisco, CA 94101
Cost: 7 Bucks
8:30
Flakes say: "It's an EARLY show (and we mean EEARRRRLY!) with the GO GOING GONE GIRLS And The Upsidedown from up norht in Orygun."

August, 12 2006
The KNOCKOUT
3223 Mission Street, SF, San Francisco, CA 94101
I say: "That's my birthday, so lets drink."

From Sunday:
Yesterday Camera Man Brett, Sailor Billy, and I ran around North Beach gathering shtick for our pilot Basement Burlesque. Good stuff, man...but you would think tourists have never seen a sailor and a domme doing a dance number in an alley way before.






From Thursday:
What Me, 30?!

My 30th birthday is August 12th. I know. How could someone so short be so old?
But don't worry: I'm not going to make everyone commute to the Sunset for my birthday or put on a show...in fact, I'm not going to do anything...except go to The Knockout August 12th.

Coincidentally, there's a Flakes show there that night. Non-coincidentally, my sister, who has the same birthday as me (now THAT is a coincidence) just might be there too! So, stop by the Knockout and order some of their strange alcoholic rootbeer and tell me I still look 29.

From last Tuesday:
Impacted Blogectomy...
1. And I promised I wouldn't read BoingBoing anymore...


2. The truth about Chris and I:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/99806556@N00/sets/72157594208093278/
These pictures are from Kaleidoscope at House of Shields. The next one is 8/18. Why do we all look so "smarmey?"

3. We let Chris beat a monkey to death for his birthday:

Anyone who has been to my place will recognize that bat as a "Therapy Bat." Brett has access to this sort of kinky stuff. I mostly just hit myself with it. That night was also the screening for Chris' film Chains, which is major disturbo in all the best sorts of ways.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/99806556@N00/sets/72157594212271814/

4. And here is something you're not supposed to know about yet...

I Call It Thursday
Thursday morning I was at the dentist getting a tooth drilled and Taco's "Puttin On the Ritz" came on the radio. I thought, the only way this moment could get better is if I had a heart attack and died.

Sad, drunk, unmusical clowns.

Sad, drunk, unmusical clowns.
Originally uploaded by Odessa Lil.

This was Friday.

Luigi

IMG_2242
Originally uploaded by Odessa Lil.

From the Bay Area Reporter:

Clubland: Fudgie Frottage, The Indra, Rose Pistola, Hudson and an attorney were thrown out of the Gold Club on the morning of June 28 while celebrating Fudgie's birthday. The reason the drag and burlesque performers were asked to leave was perhaps related to the management's same-sex kissing policy.

The Indra, no stranger to the Gold Club, said she'd never been asked to leave when she kissed a male date. Club management didn't complain when she kissed Hudson, a tall, strapping drag king who was garbed in suit and tie. The complaints started only after Indra kissed Rose Pistola and the femme-fatale attorney.

Fudgie, who was in a dark corner enjoying a complimentary birthday lap-dance, returned to pandemonium at his table, including charges of exposed breasts. "You can't expose your breasts unless you work here," proclaimed a manager. While both the anonymous attorney and The Indra are well-endowed and were sporting generous décolletage, neither of them had exposed the body parts in question.

"I couldn't figure out what was going on, except that the management feared the steamy display was becoming so hot it was distracting the clientele from the stage shows," conjectured Fudgie.

Rose Pistola added, "I love getting thrown out of the trashiest establishments in town!"

http://ebar.com/artscolumns/artcolumn.php?sec=outthere

Merch

Merch
Originally uploaded by Odessa Lil.

Melissa @ Ocean Beach

Melissa @ Ocean Beach
Originally uploaded by Odessa Lil.

From Melissa's visit 6.17.06.

It was a tough month...

It was a tough month...
Originally uploaded by Odessa Lil.

Stitches, sinus surgery, starting a new job, and family health issues...please forgive my tardiness in answering emails and phone calls. I'll buy you a beer some day soon.

On the brighter side of things, I've found the new look for my apartment. I was inspired by the decor found in Stripper_Polaroids' photos on Flickr. (Not work-safe...) I highly recommend adding him as a contact so you can see all of his found treasures. Three words: zebra print wallpaper.

Brett -- 1977 yearbook

brett 1977 yearbook
Originally uploaded by Odessa Lil.

and i love him.

Odessa Lil by Daniel Martinez

Odessa Lil by Daniel Martinez
Originally uploaded by Odessa Lil.

Odessa Lil in Strasnic Strasnic by Daniel Martinez

Odessa Lil in Strasnic Strasnic by Daniel Martinez
Originally uploaded by Odessa Lil.

The Brochure in my Dream
Saturday night I had a dream that I found a brochure. It said, “Watch your step every day.”
When I woke up, I thought: Geeze! I’m even more paranoid than I thought I was!
But the more I think about it, the more I feel that it is helpful advice. There is no throw-away behavior. Everything you do every day really does count. Act accordingly.

Well, I didn't do the Creepshow Peepshow last Sunday and I won't be able to MC this Saturday's show, but please go go go and check it out for me!
Friday, my mother had a heart attack, but she is doing so much better now and is at home. Everyone cook some broccoli for their moms this Mothers' Day!
Take care,
Audra

Upcoming shows:

This weekend --



















Next weekend--

Meet Shifty Gears and Lester and Lester!

Cookin beer -- secret ingredient, Whisky!
Originally uploaded by audrawolfmann.

Watch the slide show:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/99806556@N00/sets/72057594122846445/show/

Meet Shifty and the Goth-Jug super band The Lesters of Mercy at

Sunday May 7th, 2006

9PM - Late

SHOW STARTS EARLY! (REALLY!)DRINKIN' TO CONTINUE AFTERWARDS...

$10 in costume, $15 without

(costume? costume? what kind of costume? Think "House of 1000 Corpses," or maybe "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" or just be a big weird hillbilly or a creepy mental patient... Or go all zombie like "Dawn of the Dead"... Hell, you can be Chewbacca if you want to --just tell everybody you're Bigfoot... )

DNA Lounge

375 Eleventh Street

San Francisco, CA

advance tickets at www.dnalounge.com

21 and Up with I.D.

The Bippies

The Bippies
Originally uploaded by audrawolfmann.

From The Bippies video shoot in March.

Oh YouTube! How did we ever exploit our friends without it?

Last weekend in review:

Friday was...House of Burlesque~

Kingfish:
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Cracker Jack Salteen:
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Chris (aka Sailor Billy, aka Boomin' Granny):
..>

Saturday, I got to tag along on the Bippies' video shoot for a public access program!

Russell and Maz:
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That's my Brett:
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Dan Eldridge photos of Odessa Lil at the taping of Basement Burlesque.

Odessa Lil at the taping of Basement Burlesque.
Originally uploaded by audrawolfmann.

Soon to be your 2nd favorite TV show. I know America's Top Model is pretty good.

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW ODESSA LIL?!

Take My Quiz - on - QuizYourFriends.com!

Werewolf Mama

Werewolf Mama
Originally uploaded by audrawolfmann.

Hey! Pictures from Thursday's Burlesque Be'elzapalooza are surfacing! I've put some up on Flickr. For more, check out the DNA Lounge's website: http://www.dnalounge.com/gallery/2006/03-23/

I'll take advantage of the fact that I'm home sick sick sick (again) to write a little on what's been happening in Me-sville USA.

1. First, here's an interview Desmond Miller did with me for an article he's working on:

Desmond: Why and when did you become a burlesques MC?

Odessa Lil: I had been looking for a way to synthesize my writing and my need to perform. My opportunity arose in 2004 when a dear friend bought an ailing historic nightclub in a very bad part of Oakland and offered me every Tuesday night to do whatever I wanted there. It was the perfect laboratory to work out my performance experiments. I planed a night of vaudeville style variety acts, burlesque dancers, and music, and named it after one of Buster Keaton's most unfunny movies, Speak Easily (only I called my night SpeakEasily). I needed a master of ceremonies to tie the whole evening together, but there just wasn't anyone out there doing exactly what it was that I was looking fo...so I made her up myself and called her Odessa Lil, the Mistress of Ceremonies.

Odessa Lil wasn't so much born as she was coughed up like a hairball. She is the detritus of my muddled upbringing: all antiquated borscht-belt humor, nervous sexuality, female anger, and put downs. She carries a riding crop to keep the performers in order but she might use it to scold the audience if they don't laugh at the right parts. As far as I know, she is the world's only stand-up domme and prefers to enter a party while riding a man like a horse. A lot of people think that she is from somewhere in Middle or Eastern Europe (my father once explained to me that all Jews originally come from Odessa) but it is just as likely that she is from Lodi or Merced.

Desmond: What is the role of the burlesques MC?

Odessa Lil: In a lot of ways, an MC is just a carnival barker, getting the audience to "step right up" and enjoy the show. The MC also sets the tone or the theme of the performance with their character and their introductions to the performers. An MC can make a pretty good mascot that conveys the spirit of the show.

Desmond: How many performances have you put together and done?

Odessa Lil: Oh! Too many to count. When I was producing SpeakEasily at Eli's in Oakland, I did a show every week for over 6 months! After that, I continued to produce and MC my own shows or just MC other peoples' shows on average of once a month. This past October was particularly insane. I was performing once a week again. The burlesque scene definitely has its seasons! I've produced shows for charity (The San Francisco Tenants Union, twice!), film festivals, film openings, rock shows, jazz shows...you name it.

Desmond: Who are some of your favorite burlesque performers?

Odessa Lil: Anyone performing locally is going to be a favorite of mine. It takes balls for these girls to show their wears in a place as ironically inclined as San Francisco. Speaking of balls, I'd have to say that one of my favorite local performers is Roky Roulette, male burlesque sin-sation. He's got a rock and roll sensibility and an extreme take on dancing. There are often wounded audience members after he performs. I call that audience participation. For MCs...I gotta say Kingfish, carnival barker extraordinaire.
From the good old days...I'm influence a lot by the spirit of turn-of-the-century Yiddish theater and vaudeville, and 1950's comedians who opened for strip shows. Lenny Bruce, Jackie Kannon, Woody Allen...they are my breads and butters. Can butter be plural?

Desmond: What are a few of your favorite venues to perform in and around San Francisco?

Odessa Lil: Odessa Lil has told jokes in her underwear on the stages of the Castro Theater, the Victoria Theater, the DNA Lounge, Benders Bar, Club Deluxe, Eli's Mile High, 330 Ritch, The Warepad, Thee Parkside...I'm probably forgetting a few places. My favorite stages are the ones with history like the Victoria Theater and the Castro Theater and even Eli's Mile High. But dive bars are not without merit. When the audience is drunk and in my face...well, that's my particular specialty.

Desmond: Where do you feel San Francisco burlesque is going in the near future?

Odessa Lil: Well, the SpeakEasily crew and I are currently working on a TV show called Basement Burlesque, so we're taking burlesque to TV! It is the brain child of Chris France (aka Sailor Billy). He's got video know-how. He and I want to bottle and distribute the chaotic magic that we created on the stage. What better place to do that then where no one will see it...public access TV! Ha ha. The rest of SF? As with most scenes built on retro-worship, there is an impending danger of stagnation. The performers and the audiences alike may tire of nostalgia and the scene may disintegrate if we're not careful. Burlesque needs to continue to go forward. This can be done while maintaining nods and winks to the past. It's just a challenge and you have to be creative enough to meet that challenge. I'm going to get all Nostradamus here for a second and say that we're going to see a lot of fusion in burlesque, as that is the most obvious way people try to make things new. We may me seeing more dancing singers or stripping poets or something. But it would be really exciting to see someone take the format and rip it a new one.

2. Speaking of "Basement Burlesque," our shoot last weekend was a blast! Chris has been filtering a few "choice" moments over to YouTube, which I will post below. Otherwise, you all may have to wait a couple of months to see the completed show...but it's big laffs! I promise. Ok, so here's a few teasers (more like inside jokes):

Chris as Tom in "Tall Tales of the Purple Onion":


Tony...


And, of course, here are a few pictures...


David Copenhafer took this one of me directing the infamous Purple Onion sketch. Caitlin on camers. Dig my schmatta.


Odessa Lil and David Copenhafer. Photo by Desmond Miller.


Chris as Jackie K. Photo by Desmond Miller.


Odessa Lil, worried as usual. Photo by Desmond.

3. Sick? Yeah sick. Next week I'm back to the ENT and we'll probably schedule the dreaded sinus surgery. Maybe he can throw in a face lift while he's in there? No? How about Lipo? I mean, the sinuses aren't that far from the gut, are they?

Wow...these are acts Rose Pistola and I did 2 years ago!

Snake Charmer



Good For Nothing

The Hamboogers from September (I just figured out this whole YouTube thing!)

Long Live the Fabric House.

Darren, Russell, Brett
Originally uploaded by audrawolfmann.

The Hamboogers went Toga at the Fabric House Saturday night.