Jim has written by far the most insightful response to Brett’s guest blog and shows an uncanny ability to deconstruct the portrait photography of Miss Lisa Nola:
He [Brett] is a sick, sick man. He's feeding you chocolate milk and corn chips? That's what the Moonies do to break down individual will (It's true: chocolate milk and corn chips... The Reverend even has his own brand of each... ) The day you show up dressed like Dennis the Menace, I'm organizing an intervention. If you have a slingshot or a frog anywhere on your person, I will have you professionally deprogrammed.
… but what the heck is up with that picture of you two? Alright... blahr-blahr-blahr, whatever, but did you have the nerd-filter over the camera lens? Look, I know what _I_ look like right now (hint: not good) but fergawdsake, woman! I've seen you without the mantle of Glamour upon you and you still had All The Cuteness. But _geeez_... I mean seriously... Were you guys rolling up new D&D characters when you took that picture? Is this the effect of an all-chip diet? I mean _wow_... Yeah, cute nerd, but still... _nerd_. I'm a nerd so hey, I know.
Here I am in 2005, just a week and a day away from a trip to the Mount Zion Cancer Center. They won’t return my phone calls to answer my general questions and I am having moments of increasing panic and doubts about the sanity of their front desk staff. In order to stave off anxiety attacks, I have been:
1. Making lists.
Such as: My survival kit for Tahoe this weekend: Mad Magazine board game, Twister, Ativan, DVDs (Spaceballs, The She Beast {thanx Russell!), Modesty Blaise, How to Stuff a Wild Bikini…all the classics), chocolate, a coat.
2. Spending an hour picking out the right pocket calendar. (Sorry folks, I just have no time to answer emails or phone calls.)
3. Learning all about the ancient art of the Scopitone! These early music videos were made for “film jukeboxes” in the early ‘60s and today serve as a testaments to the power of low-budge film making. Scopitone.Com has a great Scopitone of the Day right now, “Sea Cruise” by the Hondells. Watch ‘em all, but I recommend the following for a few special friends:
Bombshell Betty: “Queen of the House” Jody Miller
Back Street D: “Madeleine” Jaque Brel and Angry French Guy
Lisa: “These Boots Were Made for Walking” Nancy Sinatra
Sailor Billy: “Harlem Shuffle” Vigon
