12.30.2005

End of the half-decade
Or
Without this, I will not remember


Last year at this time I wrote this:
http://wolfmann.blogspot.com/2004/12/its-that-no-mans-land-time-of-year.html#links

Sometimes actions precede meaning in my life. It will take me a while to figure out what I’m up to and then…bam: Meaning! I’m not just sleepwalking after all! Well, I’m finally seeing the point to all this bloggy business. It’s not exactly therapy, and it does not exist for angry exes to peruse while they guess how much weight I’ve gained in the past 10 years (if you guessed 13 pounds, then you are correct), and it’s not there for hurt girlfriends of those exes (of even lower self-esteem than me) to project their unfounded accusations upon, and it’s really not even there as an excuse for not keeping in touch with my friends and loved ones (“What did you mean you didn’t know that I had a sex change? Haven’t you read my blog?”).

Just this morning, I realized that this blog is the best interactive, multi-media, all-inclusive recording device that I could possibly get my hands on. Screw photo albums (my obsession from 1992-98), paper journals (source of guilt and neglect between 1999-2001), and even letter-writing (I was never that good at that…and I never made photocopies before sending them anyway). It’s all been on the blog since 10.23.03 and as long as the big server in the sky doesn’t go, then my memories, pictures, links, and friends’ comments are all safe and sound and even searchable! Where was I the day of May 29, 2004? I don’t know, let me see…oh! Garage sailing with Ukiah Adam and tormenting Jason Proctor with a framed carpet rendition of a Marlin! Of course.



My memory…well, it’s pretty bad. It’s most likely a result of media-overload, long hours in the office, prolonged use of prescribed anti-depressants, a head injury I sustained at 13…uh, I guess the brain cells have been stacked against me. Without a record of my life, it might be really easy for me to forget what an amazing life it’s been.

Thank you to those who have been part of it all, who have reminded me of things I have forgotten, and who plan to make new memories with me (and then will remind me about those at a later date).