I just watched Peter Sellers in beige-face playing Hrundi Bakshi in "The Party". Is this xenophobic mocking or just a load of sight gags and fun? Why oh why is Peter Sellers always doing that to us? I just want to know when I'm going to get invited to a party like that!

So I received an interesting email last week from an anonymous fellow who wants to be my "handboy", which apparently means he'll do stuff around the house for me. Oh hell, I'll just reprint the letter:
"Miss Audra,
YOU look as if YOU were "To the Manor Born" with YOUR sophisticated, stylish appearance. I would like to become YOUR handboy assistant and can perform butler, driver, gofer duties for YOU. I will in effect "become YOUR property" as I place myself under YOUR leadership and guidance. Where do YOU live so that we might discuss my relocation?
handboy"
I'm not sure what "to the Manor Born" means (isn't that a British TV show or something?)...I'm pretty sure I look like I was to The Shtettel Born, but I like his offer. Maybe if I could share him with the girlposse...like a time-share sort of a thing. Let me know what you think girls. I bet he does windows.

Last night I went out to dinner with Desmond to one of those pan-Asian places where you can get a samosa with your egg roll, etc. Desmond seemed to think that the waiter was giving me the chocolate eye or something and I said, "We're in the Castro! No guys pick up on me in my hood...besides, if he is actually straight -- and he's not -- why wouldn't he just assume I was your date?!"
Desmond gave me a look that indicated that his Gaydar is never broken and then said, "HELLO!" and pointed at his shirt, which bore a picture of Barbarella. In general, his Gaydar is so much more accurate than my Jewdar. I'm always bombing out with the Jewdar thing. A guessed incorrectly that a Friendster I know is 100% Goy Boy and I think I might have offended him, because he's actually only 50%. But anyway, this is not about the Jews. This is about the gays...ok, not really. But I will repeat the story I told Desmond in the pan-Asian restaurant about the pan-Asian restaurant. Several months ago I went on a date-type-thing with a really nice and handsome boy-person that I had up-to-then only spent three minutes with. We went to that very same pan-Asian restaurant in the Castro. I don't really do that very often (go on dates, not go to pan-Asian restaurants...I do that all the time), so I was pretty open to the whole experience and was wanting to get to know people and listen to their stories about growing up in the Ozarks or whatever. Well, this guy -- as sweet as he was -- seemed to only talk about how most people think that he's gay, and that he is not. Ok. Now that that's cleared up...oh wait, here comes that topic again...and again? I started to sense a theme building. Nearing 10pm, the topic arises again and he actually says, "...and I know I'm not gay because I've tried it and let me tell you, I don't really want a dick up my a$$ again."
That was pretty much it for the date. I guess the moral of the story is: don't say the words dick and a$$ in the same sentence on the first date. Suddenly I had to go and he never called anyway. Ah, the joys of being single.