Updates and stuff:
Hey hey hey...I've just posted the photos from the shoot I did with John Carey -- master of light and shadow:
<--click there, ok?

And I also got around to scanning in the photo from The Guardian, for those of you outside the reaches of our trusty free weekly. (Ok, mom!?)
<--Do it.

The next project is to get those photos up from Sunday's Spinout! (that's Brett's slot car extravaganza at a bar at the edge of the universe.) I'm working on it! But hey, I got TV to watch and a cat to talk to and stuff...and seders to go to!
The 3rd Night Seder...
I know...who the hell does third night seders? We do, apparently. Monday night was the only time the usual gang of idiots could get together and I'm so happy we did...we had Slim Jim shank bones, a bottle of Seagrams, and an accidental Haggadah fire. Oh, and a grand total of 2 1/2 Jews out of 10 guests, but I think Bethanne's cooking made a few converts. Next year in Jerusalem! Nah...

I hate it when I can remember all the lyrics but not the artist...

Well I'll drink strychnine just to quench my thirst
Shouldn't Do That
Shouldn't Do That
I'll drink strychnine just to quench my thirst
Shouldn't Do That
Shouldn't Do That
Before I go I'm gonna kill my baby first.

Well I'll take that pistol, cock it in my baby's face.
Shouldn't Do That
Shouldn't Do That
I'll take that pistol, cock it in my baby's face.
Shouldn't Do That
Shouldn't Do That
And let some graveyard be her resting place.

Well I'll bury her dig her up again.
Shouldn't Do That
Shouldn't Do That
I'll bury her dig her up again.
Shouldn't Do That
Shouldn't Do That
Why she left me, it was for some other man.

Well I'm crazy bout that woman, I can't see why it could be
If she left me it would be the end of me.

Are Bikinis kosher for Passover?

1. Ok, yeah, that is me on page 10 of The Guardian.

2. Ralph asks if beer is kosher for Passover…an ancient question I’m sure. The answer is of course not, but wait…what’s this?


3. InterNebbish is now officially my best friend for saying:
“You have now officially displaced Sammy Davis Jr. as sultriest/campiest Semite."
I’m going to start wearing an eye patch.

Saturday was JT and Amy’s wedding in Carmel so Brett and I made a vacation out of it. I hadn’t been in Carmel since I was a kid and I was really shocked at how incredibly quaint that place is. Did I say quaint? I meant goddamnshitfuck quaint. (Brett’s reaction to the quaintness of our surroundings was to string together a line of obscenities when pointing out the quaintness of something, as in: “Look at the goddamn fucking cobblestone in front of that motherfucking quaint Tudor cottage.”
The wedding was a truly beautiful one…AND the wedding band was Dave Gleason's Wasted Days. That really beats the usual wedding DJ or Mariachi band.
Yes, I did bring Gizmo to the wedding.
We failed to run into Clint Eastwood, but there was a post-wedding party at his bar, The Hogs Breath Inn, which had last call at 11pm. How motherfuckinggoddamn quaint!
I’ve put some pictures from Carmel up here…http://www.audrawolfmann.net/Carmel2005
preview:




From Carmel, we headed East to Fresno to see the fam. I went on a digital camera odyssey of my favorite crumbling downtown Fresno landmarks. See them here…http://www.audrawolfmann.net/FresnoApril2005
preview:




My favorite models:


Good Stuff This Coming Up This Weekend:

Saturday:
The Phantom Surfers REUNION, The Del Lames, and The Mothballs
at The Ivy Room -858 San Pablo @ Solano Ave., Albany

Sunday: 4pm to 9ish pm.
Spinout{[!]} returns to the Riptide Lounge on Sunday April 24th! RocknRoll, beer, slot car racing. What more could you ask for on a Sunday afternoon? Okay, how about this: it's FREE! (except the beer part. Such are the ways of Capitalism).
The Riptide Lounge. 3639 Taraval St (at 47th Avenue). Plenty of parking. Or take the L-Taraval, which stops right in front of the place. Brother's Pizza (mmmmm!) is right next door.

Pardon my lameness in responding to emails and failure to show up to many places over the weekend, but I spent three fun-filled days and two nights with the mutha of all back spasms. Bleeach! AND I missed APE (Alternative Press Expo). But Desmond was kind enough to drop by just now and bring me a Post Apocalyptic Funhouse shirt and he let me copy a copy of a compilation of copies of biker soundtrack music from 1966-1971 called EAT MY ANGEL DUST! It’s got hits from Wild Angels, Naked Angels, Hell’s Belles, Satan’s Sadists, and many more! But no Psychomania…good thing I already have that soundtrack. If anyone needs me, I’ll be occupied by my Girl on a Motorcycle fantasy.

I was able to borrow some Vicodin and therefore get out on Sunday night for The Flakes/The Stalkers/Time Flys show at the Parkside. In my Hydrocodone haze, I took a few pictures of those Flakes and friends:

Russell Quan!


Peepin John goes ape shit.


Carlos of The Mothballs and Brett. The Mothballs have a record out not on CAR-HOLE records!! CAR HOLE! CAR HOLE!!! CAR HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!


My fink.


Mmmm…Hydrocodone. That reminds me…House is on! Gotta go! I love House, but it might just be for his drugs.

Oh, two more things:

This week’s Maggie photo:


AND
ODESSA LIL will MC this upcoming event!
SMOK'D -- 35mm World Premiere Sneak Preview
A Frederic M. Banting Film

Friday, April 29, 8:00pm (please get there early as it’s expected to fill up fast!)
Phone: 415.260.1487 (to reserve a free ticket)

FREE!

Victoria Theatre
2961 16th Street
San Francisco,CA

Pre-show entertainment includes live music and the short film DAMAGE.

Advisory warning!!! No one under 17 years of age will be admitted to the show under any circumstances.

The doors close at 8pm, so please arrive at the theatre at least 45 minutes before the show starts. Limited parking is available at 16th street and Hoff. All moviegoers, however, are strongly advised to take BART to the 16th street station.

Yeay! Everybody look at Bombshell Betty's site! Take her burlesquercise classes too!

Also, for those of you on MySpace who like to look at vintage naughty postcards...join the Naughty Flappers group!
It's an extension of my Naughty Flappers site. I'm hoping people will share their collections.

So now that I have a digital camera, you will all be forced to look at pictures of my cat!
Nah...but here are some from Friday's Bardot A Go Go!

Me and Troy and his nice friend. I could totally beat them up if I wanted to.


Biff Bang Pow, etc. Actually, we never did find "bang," did we?


Brett's solo album.


OK...and here's Maggie! (I couldn't resist.)


And here's something else I couldn't resist:
MY EXES: THE SET LISTS
by HENRY ALFORD
From The New Yorker, Issue of 2005-04-04

GEORGE
- “That Shirt Looks a Little Gay on You”
- “Can We Not Talk About That, Please?”
- “My Wintry Charm” (a cappella)
- “There Aren’t Many People Like Me”
- “I Am Reading a Book by Georges Bataille”
- “While I Search Listlessly for Adjunct Teaching Jobs at the M.L.A., I Will Be Manning the Marxist-Studies Cash Bar”
- “That Cabbie Had a Lot of Really Interesting Arguments”
- “Although I Have a Great Big Novel Inside Me, I Am Still Able to Enjoy Reading Your Little Articles”
- “Despite Never Having Had a Job, I Have Penetrating Insights on Corporate Malfeasance”
- “Oh, Has Another One of Your Friends Published Something of Yours?”
- “Defensive?!! What the Hell Does That Mean?” (dance mix)
- “Things Will Be Different When I Move to Vermont”

Joel Stein of the LA Times Pits Camp Against Art, Susan Sontag Against Roky Roulette:
"Why Fear Drives Us to Pogo-Stick Stripping"

So instead of stripping at a genuinely sleazy
club and exposing your sexuality for judgment, you do retro burlesque with Carmen Electra's Pussycat Dolls. Instead of mounting a real play, you stage the '80s movie "St. Elmo's Fire."

But the rest of the country sees through this. They want to see people — talented or not — who really try on "American Idol." Because if beauty really is truth, then trying to create art while pretending you don't mean it is inherently flawed.

Maybe I'm just mad because they stopped at the pasties.

And is it fear that makes a man end an article in a campy joke? What other choice is there?

Just when you thought life couldn’t get more boring:

A joke:
http://boringboring.org/

For reals, dude:
Bakersfield

Yeay:
Tonight is Bardot A Go Go!